Je Ne Comprends Pas

23 November 2023

Thanksgiving 2023

In many ways, 2023 has been a year of transitions, in other ways, things remain the same as they ever were. Regardless, in no particular order, there is a lot to be thankful and grateful for:

It probably goes without saying the biggest change this year was the arrival in early March of our daughter Manon. Having her around has meant navigating new schedules and needs, but also brought a new lens of experience and thinking. It is a joy to be her dad and I am grateful she is here.
Correspondingly, having Manon around makes me ever more grateful for Kate, who juggles a lot of shit and keeps it all mostly together. She is often funny, makes a fine side salad and/or strong manhattan, and keeps on keeping on.
Our house, though probably too small, is well curated in its decor, plopped amongst lovely neighbors and beautiful parkland and lakes, and a short walk from Lunds, arancini, and a cup of coffee. I'm grateful to live here.
Obi, resident goodboi, coworker, food helper, professional sleeper, and general pure creature.
Having a kid brings new shades of relationships to my own parents and their partners, my aunt, uncle, cousins, and other extended family, as well as my brother/sister-in-law and niece. It is a delight to go through life with these folks, to learn from them, be around them, and have the benefit of their presence.
Chipotle burritos - white rice, black beans, chicken (carne asada if I'm feeling v. fancy), corn salsa, hot salsa, sour cream, cheese, lettuce.
One thing we talked often about pre-kid was our desire to not lose ourselves, to maintain our priorities and integrate Manon into them. I was thankful and grateful that we were able to continue our Memorial Day trip into the BWCAW with perhaps the youngest wilderness traveler in tow.
On that same vein, last year an offhand comment to my first-cousin once-removed turned into a very real 3 night journey back to the BWCAW. We faced wind, rain, a burn-ban, and hordes of mosquitos, and I felt grateful to be able to introduce Oliver to a place I love so much and also get to see the world and its people from his perspective.
I'm grateful for well-designed and intentional things.
My job and profession matter to me and I like the people I work with.
Hikes of at least 5 miles.
This year our communities changed somewhat - what ebbed or went away in one direction I feel was made up for by either new/emerging friendships or older ones that have become more nuanced and meaningful. It's cliche but true - friends are your chosen family, and not an hour goes by where I'm not grateful for them.
Writing things down - I have become more intentional about documenting dates, goings-on, and random factoids, and it's unlocked slower and intentional thought.
Long drives.
The opportunity to meet new people - one standout that comes to mind was the micro-community that arose last January among the group snowed in at the top of Red Mountain Pass.
I went to see Dead and Company at Wrigley Field for their final tour with my BFF and brother-in-law, and the shows were as sick and the vibes were as good as you would expect.
Just a really cold, shitty, delicious beer. PBR or Grain Belt are good, Hamms is best.
Sandals in the summer, wool socks in the winter.
Things that last and get better with age - boots, chambray shirts, cast iron pans, you know the drill.
Over easy eggs on toast with a cup of coffee - oh yes, and hash browns.
Being given the opportunity to feel a little uncomfortable.
I've been thinking a lot recently about the important of rituals - things you do, over and over, for no reason other than the fact that you do them. I noticed I missed last year's Thanksgiving list (which previously dated back to I think 2011), and while I won't beat myself up over that, it's important to keep doing the things that make you you, and also be open to creating new rituals.
It's always a joy to reconnect with old friends who didn't fall away, but did fade from mind.
Whiskey drinks at the end of a day.
A glorious season of Twins baseball, and to be present to see the postseason streak end.
"In My Hour of Darkness" by Gram Parsons.
Hanging at a brewery with family, friends, or sometimes just even yourself.
That ethereal feeling you get sliding over snow with planks on your feet.
YouTube videos of Canadians cooking, ASMR outdoor cooking, and truck stuff adventures.
Walking and contemplating through a museum, any museum.
Tactile things that make little sounds.
Snoopygrams on IG.

25 November 2021

Thanksgiving 2021

It's an annual list, in no particular order, and non-exhaustive, of things I am thankful for. There are so many.

This year, I've received 3 combined shots of Moderna's COVID-19 vaccine. While acknowledging we are still in the pandemic, I am so grateful for the folks who made this possible and the safety and peace of mind they afford me.
All my family members, from my lovely wife to my parents, in-laws, siblings-in-law, aunt, uncle, cousins, etc. It has been so nice to see them this year with less anxiety and worry.
My melanzana micro-grid pullover.
I had the good fortune to do quite a bit of traveling this year - mainly via the open road, but took my first pandemic forays via air as well. I am grateful for all these experiences and the things I learned, but probably most grateful for an extended time spent on the road as I was between jobs this August/September.
Waffle cut fries.
Vinyl records.
Road trips, gas station coffee, and combos.
Learning new things - which explains why there's a skateboard in my garage.
My OG pandemic coworker - an oddly shaped, narrow faced greyhound on whose couch I am typing this out.
Long slow runs in the woods.
Knowing what knot to tie in a specific situation.
That time we got stuck in our canoe on Little Sag lake in a thunderstorm, only for the skies to clear to an incredible sunset and just enough dry wood to start a fire and warm up.
My time working at UHG, where I worked with such kind coworkers and gained so much confidence.
My new job at F&B, where I am once again surrounded by quality people in a new and challenging role.
Phish Food Ben & Jerry's.
For that matter, 5 incredible and hilarious opportunities to see Phish in 2021, including an unforgettable weekend in an Indiana parking lot and my first foray to fabulous Las Vegas.
Late, quiet nights with a nice bourbon.
Our beloved adventure van, which taught me so much, gave me endless amounts of pride and enjoyment, and also ended up filling me with anxiety every time I got behind the wheel pointed down any surface that was not paved and dry. Grateful for Kate and Cody from Nashville, who I hope have taken her on new (and hopefully more graded) adventures.
For that one time Bob Weir liked my tweet.
Every time Cody Townshend drops a new "50 Project" on youtube.
Our beautiful city of Minneapolis, which spoils us with parks, restaurants, things to do, and ideas to think about.
Piney west coast IPAs and shitty, cold, American lagers.
Riding my bike on a crisp fall day.
Two words - pow day.
For being entrusted to serve as the council president at my church - for all the people who in a year where there are no easy decisions, continue to show up, be faithful, and do the important work to keep things progressing.
Completing a 35 days on skis before I turned 35 challenge in 2021, despite blisteringly cold temperatures.
Returning to Target Field for a Twins game after a year away.
Ice cold coke in a can on a hot day.
Quilted slipper shoes.
All of our public lands and the opportunities they afford - notable experiences this year were had in MN State Parks, National Forests, National Recreation Areas, and National Parks.
For that grizzly bear in Yellowstone deciding not to maul and eat me.
Our SACO trombone quartet, which managed to keep the music going throughout the pandemic.
For staying healthy.
Cold days at Welch Village, 300 foot vert runs, drinks at Madd Jaxx, and being satisfied just because you love it.
Campfires in winter.
Family rituals - friends, we need more rituals as well.
Being surrounded by people of tremendous grace.
Random hangs that occur on short notice.
Dimly lit, neon infused dive bars.
For whatever reason, the paths life have taken me on have resulted in an economically privileged position. I am tremendously grateful.
Opportunities to check that privilege, to be challenged in my thinking, to have the status quo adjusted.
Chips and salsa.
That delightful feeling of exhaustion and pride after a total sufferfest.
Opportunities to disconnect.

26 November 2020

It's well past a cliche at this point to say "2020, what a strange year," but seriously. We're living through events that literally haven't been experienced for generations, and future humans will read about this year just as we read about the 1918 flu pandemic. That's straight up wild.

These extraordinary times try folks and also put shit in perspective. There's a lot to be thankful for. So in no particular order, here's my list.

In a time when so many have had life flipped upside down, for a steady job, for the ability to work remote and stay home, for economic stability, for not having to worry about putting food on my table or paying my bills;
For the healthcare workers - doctors, nurses, PAs, technicians, care assistants, researchers, everyone who is on the front lines of the COVID-19 pandemic doing their best to keep us well and safe;
For my own continued good health and that of my immediate family and friends, and for those of my friends who have contracted COVID, for their recovery;
80's and early 90's ski movies;
On that note, the last large gathering I participated in before lockdowns began was my birthday in late February, where I had an informal party at Able Brewing for their annual ski movie night. I was surprised and honored that a full quorum of the Nottingham IX showed up that evening. Thankful and grateful for that entire group of people and the impact they had and have on my life, and to see so many that day - even though despite my best efforts to rig the raffle, I came away empty-handed;
Hot coffee - black, just black - in stoneware mugs;
A socially distanced trip this summer to Wyoming's Bighorn Mountains, and an unforgettable trek to the top of Cloud Peak;
For delightful small brook trout caught and released on a fly rod;
For my family - mom, dad, my aunt and uncle, cousins in Sioux Falls and Denver, the Holt kids, my sister and brother-in law, my regular in-laws, my niece, and all the associated hangers on;
For the privilege of being inducted into the Black Watch during the 2020 Highland Games, for surviving the sacred rituals, for consuming the heart of the dragon and coming out alive, and for the charms and amulets I left with. I'm grateful my uncle cares so much about this stuff that you can't help but care too;
I've spent a lot of time at home this year, and my co-worker the dog has been ever present, watching from his blue couch. Grateful for his steadiness and continued good vibes;
Teva Ember Mocs - seriously, these things are incredible;
Cowboy hats;
When the St. Anthony Civic Orchestra got shut down, the trombone section + Carol continued to get together to play quartets in people's yards over the spring, summer, and fall. Thankful to have been able to continue to play with these folks and spread some trombone music among the general populace;
To have kept safe but also shaken appropriately during this year's George Floyd civil unrest and the reckoning on racism that has followed. I'm thankful this has led to important education and knowledge seeking on the part of many;
Delicious cheeseburgers;
Plaid shirts;
In January, I decided to drive to Colorado and take an avalanche level 1 course in the San Juan mountains. Very thankful for the skill of our guides and all the stuff I learned to not get smoked, for being able to spend a few days in the alpine with people all passionate about skiing. The trip continued with an excellent time in Telluride and a meandering trip home at Silverton Mountain, Monarch, and Denver to see my cousin. Thankful to have the means to have taken this ski safari and live my ski bum dreams for a week and a half;
Bourbon, scotch, rye - the whiskeys, so delightful;
For finding ways to occupy myself during long stretches at home;
My spouse Kate, who's a real bamfer;
Terms like "sick line," "gnar," "gettin' shreddy," "gettin" the steeeeeeze," things of that nature;
My brother-in-law and I went to Utah in February with dreams of waist high powder and the greatest snow on earth, and then got served some humble pie when a freak storm closed all of the resorts we intended to ski. I'm thankful we made the best of the circumstances, adapted, and still had a good time;
For the dented out hyvee van turned off-grid camper parked in front of my house;
Jazz on the radio - actually all sorts of stuff on the radio - the jams, folk, rock, all of the music;
Woody Guthrie and Dylan tunes on the guitar;
Big cookies - love me a big cookie. I prefer the size of the ones and Lund's, but I do think the Kowalski's ones may be factually better;
I joined the church council at my church in January, so I got a firsthand look at the frankly herculean efforts of a handful of people to keep things afloat digitally when the pandemic hit. Thankful for them and their selfless gifts of time;
I have a lot of frankly pretty dope friends. Even when society flips out and everyone retreats to their isolation, they're always there no matter what length of time it's been. That's pretty damn cool;
That our nation elected a decent man and a smart woman to lead us for the next four years;
Phish food ice cream - and Phish too!;
The campsite in Wyoming where we had two moose just chilling 50 feet from our tent;
For four days spent in solitude in the BWCAW this fall;
For all the strange silver linings in this unusual year that don't come to mind now, but assuredly took place;
After a real bogus start to the year, grateful for a generally positive work environment and a boss I respect;
For not being too comfortable or satisfied;
Campfires in the woods;
Cruisin' around on my bike when all the parkways in Minneapolis were closed;
For this wonderful city I live in - been kind of a tough year, but that shouldn't diminish the generally pretty solid things we have going on;
Road trip pizzas, that first sight of the mountains, slurpees in the cupholder and pizza combos in the center console;
A good friend of mine had the patience to take me both ice and rock climbing in 2020, both experiences being my first time. She also co-founded a badass nonprofit in Winona to get women and other underrepresented people outside - grateful and thankful for people like her who are doing the necessary work without discouragement or apathy;
Funny stickers;
YouTube videos of dudes cooking eggs and trout over open flames;
Apres-ski beerz;
Snowshoeing over on the golf course.

Well, there you go.

30 November 2019

Thanksgiving 2019

Well, this is a bit belated - such is the way of things at times. Each year I try and draft a list of things that I've been thankful for the past year. The list is in no particular order, and it is not all-inclusive.

Sometimes writing a list of this nature has the risk of coming off like a big humblebrag - a representation of things or experiences I've had that are the result of a high degree of privilege. I'll try to avoid that as much as I can, but also know that I write this in acknowledgment of that privilege, and I suppose thanks for that as well.

I'm writing this in the basement that I've spent the last 14 hours in, resulting from an unfortunate bout with what I hope is a 24 hour stomach bug. I'm thankful that I had nothing important to do today, and could take the time to rest.
Mugs of hot coffee - if outside, in my titanium adventure mug, if inside, the chintzy Wall Drug ceramic mug I picked up on a winter drive through South Dakota.
Notwithstanding the immediate illness, for good health - for the bones, muscles, senses that allow me to go out in the world and experience it in new ways.
For my family - here in MN, out in SD and CO, wherever they are. I'm thankful for new and old traditions, flexibility, a constant willingness to accept me as I am.
Wool socks.
Blue clothing.
Delicious whiskey drinks.
Learning new things.
As a corollary to that, an eight day period last December where between jobs, I could take the time for myself to drive out to the Tetons, ski bum a bit around Grand Targhee, learn how to backcountry ski, pad around doing whatever, and just generally do what needed to be done.
As a corollary to that, being married to someone who not only is cool with me just lighting out for a week, but encourages and celebrates that. I'm thankful too that Kate could have a similar experience recently in Sedona.
For a week of fabulous skiing at Big Sky - for plentiful powder, semi-nude beacon checks, breakfast buffets, apres-ski beers, and the requisite clench-worthy moments.
Having the perseverance to finally re-finish our deck after many years of neglect.
Finding the new bike route to my office that cut the ride-time to under an hour, and much more pleasant to boot.
When you get a surprise message from a friend wanting to hang out.
Making the last minute decision to stay for the Sunday show at Alpine Valley and having an all-time Phish experience - 7/14/19 Ruby Waves!!
An epic time in Colorado with the adventure team - where we were challenged by conditions, challenged by altitude, challenged by hail at the Dead & Co show, but walked out with another transcendent experience in the backcountry of the Weminuche Wilderness.
For our dumb greyhound, Obi-Wan Kenobi - he may not look (or act) like much, but he's got it where it counts.
Long miles on country roads in the car, open to the experience of whatever you may come across.
The offbeat musical communities I am a part of - from the CV choir, to the Minneapolis Trombone Choir, to the St. Anthony Civic Orchestra.
For challenging work and opportunities to grow.
That feeling you get when you finally send the project in the rock climbing gym.
An October of great concerts - Sleater-Kinney, Bob Dylan, and Trey Anastasio.
A really fun summer of Twins baseball.
The bar burger at Bulls Foot bar in S. Minneapolis.
The Mandalorian, streaming on Disney +.
Anytime I don't have cell service.
Cowboy hats and boots.
Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream.
Tacos and/or burritos.
What appears to now be a fully functional home from a core utility perspective - i.e. plumbing, heating/cooling, etc.
A day, any day, of skiing at Welch Village with a stop at Madd Jaxx.
A solid day of hiking.
Esoteric winter sports - i.e luge, biathlon, ski ballet.

22 November 2018

Thanksgiving 2018

Each year, I make a list of things I'm thankful for, in no particular order. This year is no different.

I'm writing this post on a Thanksgiving morning that I don't need to work, with a mug of coffee on one hand and a glass of whisky (thanks Uncle Pat) in the other, anticipating a day of family events where I'll be surrounded by people I love and who love me. What a place of privilege. I'm thankful for that.
Tacos.
Spouse Kate - she has rightfully identified that I may be legit emotionally stunted, and therefore don't express gratitude or appreciation in a verbal sense as often as I should, but I am so thankful she's around.
This dog - even though he sleeps on my pillow and is generally just really poorly mannered.
I'm thankful for all my family - mom, dad, spouse, aunt, uncle, niece, siblings, siblings in-law, parentals in-law, other familial hangers on, those that aren't technically family by blood but are family nonetheless. Y'all are weird sometimes, but that's part of why you're great.
Impromptu plans, whether it's making plans over 10 minutes in February for my BFF to fly up from Louisiana for a 36 hour road trip to see Dead & Company this summer, or a last minute hang out with good friends who I hadn't seen in too long last Friday evening. It's always worth it to ask. Thankful for that.
Solitude - I had the opportunity to spend Memorial Day weekend on a solo BWCA trip, where I had the chance to unplug, paddle, read books, drink whiskey, skinny dip in the lake, see a moose, run rapids, and generally recharge. I'm also thankful that Kate is cool with and understands that sometimes, doing things alone is not a dis on the other person, it's just a great opportunity to reflect and recharge.
Reconnecting with old friends from high school and college whom I wouldn't have expected to reconnect with.
My dad faced a significant mental health scare this year, and while mental health is rarely fully "cured," he's doing a lot better. I'm thankful for that, and also that through the struggle, I think our family got a lot closer.
An incredible, crazy weekend with Cousin Mike and Mo in Denver, attending our first PHISH shows. If you're going to do it, you might as well go to all three PhishDicks shows, and it was just as bizarre and weird and totally awesome as you might imagine it would be when you arrive in a chartered Grateful Dead bus. Thanks to Mike and Mo for their generous hospitality!
To recover from three days of Phish, we got to spend a day in one of our favorite places - Rocky Mountain National Park, which was fabulous as always.
I've had a really intense year career-wise, especially in the past few months. I've worked my ass off, and can tell that I've become a better lawyer and have really found the experience gratifying. Thankful for all of this and my great colleagues, and also thankful for whatever lies ahead.
Random texts from friends.
Wool socks.
Biking to work.
I had two extremely memorable ski runs this year. In January, I skied the Dictator Chutes at Big Sky, which involved leaping from a cornice and going down this narrow gully with waist deep powder, which was super rad! In March at Jackson Hole, I skied Corbet's Couloir and while I was a tad gripped at the top, it was so gratifying to make the drop and do the run!
Really love the use of double negatives - i.e., "I could not not be excited for pumpkin pie."
Going for a paddle in our canoe on a random weeknight.
I'm really grateful for the richness that life opens up when you adopt a spirit of adventure as your creed.
Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi - don't let the haters fool you, it is a MASTERWORK.
Melted cheese on pretty much anything.
I was invited to join a community orchestra, and even though the director's a bit of a weirdo and it's what you would expect, it's been a lot of fun to play orchestral music again. Also grateful that my college band tuxedo fit well enough for the fall concert.
With some degree of reticence, I attended my 10 year reunion at Luther College, and even though I mostly hung out with my Luther friends from the Twin Cities, it was still super great to see people and be in Decorah.
Speaking of Decorah and Luther, so , so thankful for my fellow Manboy friends, who are all kicking ass and doing awesome things in their respective places in life, and who still find the time to jump on google hangout for an e-drink on a regular basis.
Joe Mauer - what a great role model to grow up watching with the Twins.
This morning, I woke up and ran a 5K even though I haven't run anywhere since I ran my last 5K last Thanksgiving - grateful for the good health and moderate level of fitness to allow me to do that.
Middle Eastern food.
Funny stickers.
Beer.
Whiskey - preferably outside around a fire or something, but anywhere is cool. If Uncle Pat is there, watch out!
I know it's fiscally not the best, but I really love eating out and I'm thankful for the great conversations that tend to happen when I do. Also, food.
Thankful for all the great energy at Christus Victor about the building expansion and other items - what a great opportunity to leave a legacy.
Trying new things.
Trombone choir.
Where I live - thankful that I can walk or bike to the coffee shop or restaurant, bike to other things, take the bus, do whatever.
Similar to the above, thankful for the crew at Angry Catfish Bikes + Coffee - it's so refreshing to have a third place where people actually know you and care to talk about what is up in your world.
The results of the 2018 midterm elections, particularly in Minnesota.
Not actually having a lot of legitimate problems.
Catalogs that you receive in the mail.
Road trips (but only if there are combos and/or haribo gummy bears).
Didn't do a ton of fly-fishing this year, but grateful for the days I did get out.
Mid-ski beverages and chicken wings at Madd Jaxx at Welch Village.
Bob Dylan.
The refinished floors in my house.
Erik Laing, who helped me cut and install baseboards in my basement, and also joined me on a most excellent ski trip to Jackson Hole.
The satisfaction that comes with hard work.
Mentors.
I generally just have really great friends. They all approach life uniquely and with grace, resilience, and strength. I am so thankful that they're around and that they're forgiving and understanding when life interrupts and time passes between points of contact.
The Sun, because without it, we'd be dead.
Curiosity.
Opportunities to exist in the chill zone.
In September, I really needed to take a dump on the trail in Rocky Mountain National Park, but did not have my toiletry supplies. Really grateful for my Eagle Scout skills that allowed me to adapt and to resolve the situation without severe incident!
The news always seems bad, but if you look around in your immediate locality, it seems like there are just a lot of good folk around. Grateful for that.
The Grateful Dead - probably not going to name my firstborn Jerry like my cousin, but it was so awesome to go see Dead and Company this summer and experience a bit of that scene.
Bratwurst - preferably the cheese stuffed varietals.
Hot sauce.
Watching the Olympics on TV.
We went and saw "Free Solo" a month or so ago, and I was so inspired by it. Thankful that that particular story was told.
The way that the pursuit of totally unnecessary and pointless endeavors can teach you a lot about yourself, others around you, and the world at large.
Even numbers.
Maintaining an air of mystery - you keep people guessing.
French fries.

I'm sure I missed a few things, but sometimes, that's just the way it is. Hope all of you have a very reflective and peaceful Thanksgiving.

23 November 2017

Thanksgiving 2017

As far as I can tell, from at least 2011 onwards, I've tried to make a list of all the things I am thankful for on Thanksgiving. It's in no particular order, and I don't look at lists from prior years before I write it. It's been a good exercise for me to take a break, breathe in some self-reflection, and exhale some gratitude. I think I have a lot of things to be thankful for this year.

Here's my non-exclusive list for 2017.

I'm thankful for my spouse, Kate. It would not be inaccurate to say we, and more specifically her, have been through some shit this year, and I sit here today awed at her resilience, emotional intelligence, and toughness. It's not in my nature to make grand emotional statements, but she puts up with that, my perpetual desire to just improvise rather than plan, and my general aversion to divulging information unless specifically asked in the form of a question, plus more. She's the best.
I'm thankful for friendships this year, which I think should flow through this list in various experiences. People ask me not infrequently, "Isn't it odd to not have siblings?" My usual response is some variant on, "I have two brothers, they're just different than what you may expect" That stands true today. I am imperfect at responding to messages, at following up, at making time, but I am beyond grateful for Benjamin and Scott.
Tacos - I really like the carnitas ones, but really any will do.
I'm thankful for this orange sweatshirt that I bought at a midwest mountaineering employee sale for $20 and am currently wearing as I type, which is absolutely the best.
For an experience of a lifetime - DESERT TRIP 2017 into the canyons of Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument and surrounding environs. I am thankful for every mile driven in the Subaru, every bad joke, that certain "salad shops" in Colorado are subject to laws not applicable in other states, every step retracing Backcountry Ben's 9 year old self at Calf Creek and subsequent steps going into the unknown of Little Death Hollow, that Benjamin didn't break either his wrist and/or his taint falling down a chockstone, for every second spent in the solitude of the canyon, for every 4% beer consumed on a hike wayside, even for the blisters and aches that mark the miles. But most of all, I am thankful to share the experience with the best of family.
That time I went fly fishing by myself in Preston and caught a really big trout.
For the Nottingham IX, whom I quite literally think about every time I look down.
It's only 13 days until Star Wars: The Last Jedi. I'm going to go see it with my best friends from high school that I've been going to see Star Wars with since at least 2005, and I'm thankful for that too.
For a great year skiing, in Minnesota, Colorado, and Montana.
Even though it was without question the weirdest vacation of my life, crashing with my dad the family vacation of my dad's wife's mom's best friend's boyfriend in one Airbnb, I'm thankful for the generosity of strangers who willingly will drive you a PB&J sandwich at the chalet for lunch.
I'm thankful for a sense of adventure.
For the number 12, my favourite number.
For new musical experiences - perhaps due to the unconscious influence of my cousin Mike, I've gotten really into the Grateful Dead and Phish this year.
For seeing Bob Dylan perform in St. Paul last month.
Frozen pizza. Remember, every pizza is a personal pizza if you believe in yourself.
For that time Kate, Sarah, and I went to see the first MNUFC match in MLS in a driving snowstorm, even though they got rolled 6-1.
Comfortable pants.
Snowshoes and snowshoeing on the Superior Hiking Trail on New Years' Day.
Beer. My favorites this year have been anything from Castle Danger and then other stuff too.
Wool hats and socks.
That feeling you get when you do something hard.
The folks and mission of Christus Victor Lutheran Church. It's not sexy or popular to be lutheran in this day and age, but I generally like the people, I think it's a productive environment to be in, it's all I've ever known, and again, it's all about the relationships.
I'm thankful for those friends who really would be justified in casting you aside for lack of contact, but graciously continue and continue to be there. I think of a law school friend who I ran into at Lutsen and subsequently invited us to happy hour with their family, an elementary school friend whom I went skiing with and ended up spending 3 hours at the chalet bar just chatting, and high school friends who keep inviting us to concerts even though I always have some legitimate yet outwardly stupid reason why we can't go. Thank you so much for your friendship and your perseverance in the pursuit of continued friendship.
Some shit went down this year, and I'm thankful for those who were there when it counted. I'm not going to name names, but I'll name only an individual code named "thekim."
Our stupid dog Obi-Wan. We had him boarded by a woman while we were in D.C., and whatever he did, he quite literally caused the woman to not respond to my texts after we picked him up, but he is such a pure soul and means so well. He's also a great camper, movie watcher, and sleeper right on your pillow as you also struggle to get comfortable.
Whiskey - in fact, I think I'll go pour some right now.
Coffee - fancy coffee, gas station coffee, coffee at home, coffee at work, coffeecoffeecoffee.
Playing the trombone, playing the guitar, making music and listening to it.
That my spring training prediction for a middling season for the Minnesota Twins was inaccurate.
While I can't do as much as I once did, I'm thankful for the young adults and Ms. Vergara with the FHS Mock Trial program.
For a job that, even while it sometimes means long hours and difficult stuff, I enjoy getting up and doing. I'm thankful for the intellectual challenge it provides, for the lifestyle it affords, for the co-workers who are easy to work with yet also demanding.
Mark Hamill.
That time a ski guide took me up into the backcountry area at Bridger Bowl and we had to hike for our turns and wear an avalanche beacon. That was sweet.
For when people came to my 2017 Star Wars marathon and went all in on eating Chinese takeout, pizza, blue milk, and sitting in a cramped basement for 17 hours.
I'm really thankful for my biological family. For my mom and dad, who probably get frustrated when I don't respond to texts for days but still love and forgive me, for my aunt, uncle, cousins and cousins' kids in Sioux Falls, for cousin Mike in Denver, for all of Ann's family, for my mother and father in law, for thekim, for Erik, and even though little kids terrify me, for Ingrid.
I'm still thankful for Barack Obama. I'm going to hold onto that and remember his example of graciousness until this current garbage individual mercifully makes his exit.
I had someone unfriend me in the past few years, and even though that still hurts, I'm thankful that this person appears to have found some joy and positivity in their life.
For tangible experiences.
For public lands, and all the great things you can do on them. Particular experiences this year included the aforementioned trip to Grand Staircase-Escalante and Canyonlands National Park, a weekend trip to the Boundary Waters, an anniversary bikepacking trip in the Chemequegon National Forest that actually was miserable in the rain but still sort of fun in a really masochistic way, many state park and forest camping trips, and time at the National Mall in Washington D.C. It's easy to advocate for things that you cherish and are grateful for.
We started a new environmental/sustainability group at CV, the Green Team, and even though we've had ups and downs, I'm thankful that it's going.
For good health, for the ability to use my body to experience things both physical and mental.
For the intellectual life, the curiosity to keep learning, the desire to never stagnate.
The porketta sandwich and a Big Jim at Northbound Smokehouse in south Minneapolis.
When I was in boy scouts, I could never climb the wooden tower at scout camp. This year, I bought climbing shoes, a harness, and joined a climbing gym. It's still way hard, but I'm thankful for being challenged.
For bikes! For commuting to work on a bike instead of sitting in traffic!
Notwithstanding the traffic, I do enjoy a good drive and am thankful for that. I got a new car this year that is quite zippy and I'm thankful for that and for receiving blessings that allowed it to come into being, which included but was not limited to Volkswagen fessing up to their global conspiracy and buying back my planet-killing Jetta.
For not falling off my bike on the Fourth of July this year, which had been a near annual occurrence.
A doctor, a lawyer, a physicist, and a trombone professor walk into a bar and Chicago, and [redacted]. Thankful for my dear manboys and the opportunity for us all to get together this past spring.
Cheese.
That all of you keep your comments to yourself when you come to our obscenely messy house and/or yard.
For realizing it's okay to be a bit eccentric.
Reading stuff in print.

I could keep going, but I think you all probably get the jist of it. Thanks to all of you for reading, and I hope everyone shares in a day of gratitude.

24 November 2016

Thanksgiving 2016

Dear Internet,

Each year, on this blog that I have long since ceased actively writing on, I compile a more or less stream-of-consciousness list of all the things I am thankful for over the past year. This is not intended to be conclusive. In many ways, 2016 the past calendar year has been one of ups and downs, but I am thankful for the opportunity to share these items with you, and I am gratified that more than one of you has inquired specifically on whether this post will be coming.

In no particular order:

Sharp cheddar cheese;
Writing with pencils;
My family who are my friends, my friends who are truly my family, and vice versa, on and on into infinity;
Well made, black coffee - particularly when accompanied by the positive community vibe at my local coffee shops Angry Catfish and Sisters Sludge;
For the gentleman pardoning the turkey in the photo above. President's Obama's message inspired me in 2007 as a student at Luther College, and I have proudly supported him since. I haven't always agreed with his policies, but whatever your politics, he has served this country faithfully and with extreme dignity for the past 8 years, and has represented us with honor, class, and respect for all of its diverse citizens. I will truly miss his leadership and example, and I hope he continues to inspire me and others to make positive, progressive change;
Tacos;
Crisp mornings where you need a stocking cap and cup of coffee, ideally after having spent the night in a tent, and the evening preceding it having been occupied with cheap whiskey and good friends;
Trombone - mom, if you read this, I still suggest a new bass trombone would be an excellent use of the Music and Worship Committee budget;
The opportunity this year to learn a new instrument, the chance to learn with a skilled teacher, and the invitation to come play guitar, even if I have no idea what I am doing;
For the music, lyricism, and wisdom of one of my true heroes, a certain Bob Dylan. It was so incredible to, however briefly, retrace his steps in Duluth and Hibbing this year while pondering the never-ending vibrancy of a person who won't let himself plateau;
IX - Notters, you understand. Ten years later, the memories, lessons, and friendships of our time at 67 Homefield continue to play an integral role in who I am;
In retrospect, being fired;
The grace and humanity that my former partner showed me when I did get fired, who supported me and allowed me to work steadily while I got back on my feet;
For the opportunity to chase a career dream at DLA Piper, for colleagues who help me when I make a mistake, and for work that challenges me immensely;
Environmental consciousness - sign the petition to save the Boundary Waters right here;
Our beautiful new Northstar Northwind 17 canoe - now appropriately featuring a few well-placed scratches;
The chance to spend 5 days in the wilderness of the BWCAW this September, with nothing to rely on but what we packed in on our backs and in our heads - what an incredible, priceless, ethereal place to distill down to the essentials of life;
For the chance to ski the mountains last year with Kate and both my parents on two separate trips;
The altogether too brief life of my good friend, Basil the Greyhound. He got sick, and we had to let him go, and sometimes that's the shitty way life is, but what joy he brought during his time in our lives. MTFBWY;
The currently existing life of my new good friend, Obi-Wan Kenobi the Greyhound. He has zero manners, has too much energy, and typically bothers me about 65% of the time, but he means so well, and isn't that the mark of someone you want to spend time with?;
Listening to music for the sake of listening to music;
Whiskey - all of it;
The community at Christus Victor Lutheran Church - what a great place, and it has been really nice to try and get more involved as of late. I literally have the best idea ever for a new initiative!;
Cruising by traffic on my bike each day heading to and from work;
Prince;
Living in a city that values bicycling and sustainability, and has the culture and people around to make bicycling an easy, fun, and cool way to get around and recreate;
The Rossignol Soul 7 skis I picked up on clearance last season;
Terrible, bro-tastic ski films replete with vocabulary such as "shred," "gnar," and "gripped" - can't get enough;
Beer - most all of the good stuff, though I prefer that brewed in Minnesota;
For spur of the moment trips to Wisconsin forests to backpack and get back to basics;
Striped or otherwise ostentatious wool socks;
I can't say I'm too thankful for the team's performance, but I still do enjoy and am thankful for the opportunity to watch the Twins on a summers' night;
Let's be honest, I really don't have too many major life problems;
Pancakes;
Skiing at Welch Village - yes, I have become a Big Sky convert, and nothing beats the mountain west for actual challenges, but there's something about turns on your local hill where you learned and grew up that will never get old;
The Force Awakens - I think I cried no less than 5 times - (1) when the main title came on; (2) when the Millennium Falcon appeared on screen; (3) when Han Solo and Chewbacca re-enter the Falcon; (4) when Rey summons Anakin/Luke's lightsaber using the Force and turns to confront Kylo Ren in the forests of Starkiller Base, and; (5) when, at last, Luke Skywalker appears at the very end;
For the time I attended a screening of the film referred to in item (35) with my in-laws, whilst garbed in screen-accurate costuming - sorry guys, but the die was cast when a request was made for me to not wear it;
Rogue One - only 21 days away;
Reconnecting with old friends who, honestly, I had no contemplation of ever seeing again;
My brother-in-law, who is a fishing partner, a skiing partner, a fly-tying partner, and just generally an admirable person who I enjoy spending time with not only in the trenches of Familial Events, but more mundane events as well;
Having the means and resources to be able to buy a new car this summer - write up my liberal yupster confession, yes it is a Subaru;
For the fact that when my lovely spouse had a not-insignificant health scare, it turned out to be nothing SERIOUS. Shit got real there for a bit;
New vision insurance and new prescription sunglasses - seriously, now I can see when I wear them;
Leather boots;
That delightful anticipation you feel heading out for a day of fly fishing;
Fly fishing with my friend Tom, who has taught me a lot about life and fishing during our hours in the car and on the river;
While we're on the subject, the simple joy of catching a fish on a fly that I tied myself;
Hell, just the chance to shut the fuck up and be outside waving a stick in the middle of a river, whether or not you catch anything. Lord knows there are worse ways to spend your days;
Friends who engage in conversations of substance when it's called for, and conversations of less-substance when that's called for as well;
Hawaiian pork;
For never wanting to quit - the Lutsen ski patrol and the Grand Marais ER can attest to this foolish instinct, but I'll be damned if I didn't rally for a quesadilla at the end of the day;
Two of my favourite breweries - the tap room at Castle Danger Brewery in Two Harbors, and the Lone Peak Brewery in Big Sky, Montana;
Riding a single speed bike - literally no cares whatsoever;
When people invite you to do stuff;
The fact that my mom got the CV Senior Choir to get real and start challenging itself more - seriously people, we can do this and sound good doing it!;
The perfect roll on your sleeves;
My new tattoo - "The only thing I knew how to do was to keep on keepin' on." Truer words have never been said;
Bluebird days;
Giving gifts;
For the wisdom of people that have already been there;
That feeling you get when you are rid of all distractions;
Health, and the ability and will to lead a healthy, active lifestyle;
Anytime I can be outside;
For acceptance of mistakes, for forgiveness, for second chances;
Even numbers.