Mock Trial

In a moment of temporary insanity while perusing the Minnesota State Bar Association website, I found myself looking at a list of area high schools still looking for an attorney coach for this year's mock trial competition. Imagine my surprise when I noticed my alma mater, Farmington High School, on the list.

You all see where this is going...

So yes, nearly 7 and a half years after I last stepped foot in Farmington High School, I will now return on Thursday as a leader of men, er, 30 young mock trialers. I suppose I was compelled to do this as a matter of empathy - as a product of the FHS mock trial squad (2000-2004) - I barely ever had the benefit of an attorney coach, and even at the time, I realized the disadvantage that caused us. Perhaps I was also compelled as a matter of loyalty, which is of course the most important thing. There are certainly more glamorous schools to coach mock trial at.

It made me recall my own years in mock trial. Oddly enough, I never was a lawyer - even the two years I participated at Luther. We were never really all that good - we didn't advance in the regional rounds that I remember, and after my first two years, we were effectively without a coach. We had to coach ourselves.

I can't say I left high school with grand ambitions to be a lawyer, and I wouldn't hope the same for any participants. The point is, to learn about the legal system and to learn the art of storytelling. I warned the adviser that I'm the least experienced lawyer she could get, and still be a real attorney, but I think I can help. One has to think that three years of legal education would allow me to impart some wisdom to a 17 year old...

If I survive, that is.

Leaving the Nest

Folks, I am on a journey - a new journey. Having shed law school, having shed the bar exam, I am ready to attack the world. To do that, I need two things.

First, I need a job. I can confidently say I now have one of those - yes. (As a sidenote, the title "attorney at law" does have a nice ring to it.)

Second, I need a place to live that doesn't involve my parents' (plural) basements. Not that I am unappreciative of the past three years' rent free living - I am. All things considered (minus the cats), it's been a remarkably undramatic three years, and I am very thankful for everything I was given. But at 25 years old, it is time to spread my wings and fly. And if that involves learning how to bake chicken, I will learn. Frankly, I better learn, because man cannot live by ham sandwiches and nutella alone.

Anyways, I'm happy to say that of TODAY, I am officially renting an apartment. Starting TOMORROW, I will domicile there. And it will be good. Of course, I realized today that I lack many of the basic things that separate humans from animals - basic hygiene products, toilet paper, etc. But I can get these things - I will. It may be a small space, but by tomorrow, it will have a bed, couch, internet, and a coffeemaker - all the necessities of life.

So, everyone come on over!

J.D.

I am, among other things, a Juris Doctor...



With high honours...



And good friends...



A beautiful, smart girlfriend...



A silly wizard robe in the rain...





And even more good friends.

Mission Accomplished

Folks, it has been a splendid few days since, at approximately 4:20 PM on Thursday afternoon, the 12th of May, I turned in my International Civil Litigation exam, and walked out of Hamline University School of Law a newly liberated man. That was it - the end, the finale, donzos, no more, nada. The End of Law School.

I go to sleep without the Hague Evidence Convention haunting my dreams, my mornings have been spent lazily sipping coffee, rather than hurriedly reading 20 pages of corporate finance text. And on this, a beautiful Minnesota Sunday, instead of trying to critique a mediation, I went for a bike ride. Perhaps it was the wind at my back, but I flew southward on Highway 3 toward Farmington as if I were being pulled by thoroughbreds. I'd like to believe it was just a function of a satisfied mind - well, and legs already battle honed this season (see post before last).

And I do have a satisfied mind, as Johnny Cash so aptly put it. When I was having lunch/drinking delicious beer with a fellow liberated lawyer on Friday, we both looked back on our law school careers with relative contentment. Oh sure, I could have done some things better - I could have stayed as far away from modern real estate as humanly possibly - but overall, I have few complaints. I had the opportunity to spend a month in London at the beginning of school, and at the end, after excrutiating yet rewarding hours spent researching, drafting, and arguing, I was sent to represent Hamline in Hong Kong.

In retrospect, that was the best thing. Unfortunately, Hamline is not Harvard, and it never will be. We suffer from an undeserved reputation at home, and employers look unimpressed at our accomplishments. But having the opportunity to go to a foreign place, and along with my teammate, create that impression anew, that was incredibly satisfying. It was humbling to think that Hamline, and the group of alumni who care so passionately about this moot, put their faith in us to represent well. And we did.

I'm not disillusioned so much to assume that life is easy-peasy from here on out. I, for better or for worse, chose a profession that is long on working late and short on healthy work-life balance. I think I've done alright so far though, and think I will in the future too.

But anyway, another chapter ends, another beings. I have a lot to learn, but I've learned a lot. I'm still trying to decide whether I'm prickish enough to refer to myself as "Dr. Nyquist" - probably not, but I'd imagine it will come out as an argument trump card/drunken statement. In any event, it'll be nice to walk across the stage on Friday in the silly hat and maroon robes, and see what comes next. The last few years, maddening as they have sometimes been, have been a good start.

Libraries

One of the lamer things I've probably done this calendar year, is participate in a tour of Luther College for my good friend's then girlfriend/now fiance last summer. When the highlight of the tour is showing her where we all used to sit in the library when writing our senior papers, you start to realize how less than scintillating it really was.

I'm sure other similarly lame things were pointed out - the practice room I spent hours in trying to figure out the mysteries of the low brass embouchure (kiss your hand? WTF?), where I took the LSAT, the parking lot turned bike rodeo facility, etc. Like all things though, it seems like it is the mundane, the repetitious, that becomes important. I always get the strangest flashbacks from England; they always involve me on a bus to the Notts city centre, or something similarly routine. However, when one spends three hours in a parking lot on a summer day teaching a 21 year old physics student how to ride a bike, I suppose that tends to be remembered.

The only reason this all comes to mind, is that I'm sitting in the Hamline law library, and quite like Preus in Decorah, sitting in a very particular spot. Two years ago at this time, I was very likely sitting in this same spot hyperventilating over a contracts exam. Now, the end is near. There's no more hyperventilation - I don't know what I would characterize it as. Certainly a tinge of apathy, but I'm generally not apathetic. More like, "come on, let's get done, but holy shit what happens now?"

You know, it will be fine, everything will be fine. As I sit in this godforsaken library for yet another hour though, I am positive that five years down the road, I'll slip into a daydream filled with dancing copies of casebooks, coffee, and bowtied professors...

It's really amazing that law students escape these three years with any friends.

Falling Off

Hello folks, welcome back to the internet. Absent blogging from yours truly, I know it sometimes feels as if it doesn't exist. Sorry about that.

Honestly, I've had plenty of great Album of the Week ideas - I think I've been listening to a lot of good music lately. This Avett Brothers album is freaking me right out. I even went to the Saint Paul Chamber Orchestra, two weeks in a row!

Some of you may recall that for the past, oh, eight months, I've been wearing a blue, orange, and black friendship bracelet thing on my right wrist. I'm somewhat disheartened to announce that tonight, of all nights, it finally fell off. In a most ignominious fashion too - in line at the Roseville McDonalds, waiting to buy coffee. Don't judge, do not judge - their coffee isn't all that bad. I feel as if I have the authority to make this determination, given the volume of coffee I consume weekly.

I had aspired for it to last until June, but alas, that is not to be. I was asked a few weeks ago what it meant - why I would keep such a tattered, raggedy thing on my person 24/7 for so long. I really didn't have a good answer. I suppose I wore it as a reminder. Like so many things though, you don't need a bracelet to remind you of bus trips and playing music.

I do think I need a new one though. Invitation to treat, anyone?

Anyways, to describe life as hectic as of late would be an understatement. Such is what you get though, when you agree to work two jobs while in law school, while spending a good six to seven hours a week honing one's int'l arbitration skills, while trying to not lose all your friends by being too busy, and while attempting desperately to finagle the ins and outs of a new relationship. And of course, who can forget the musical force that is the Minneapolis Trombone Choir. Needless to say, things are busy, and one always feels as if they might be on the brink of, just like an old bracelet, of falling off.

It's okay to be busy though.

I'm managing though, nay thriving. Although it's been hard to sync up, I've kept friends so far. Trombone choir, though perpetually awkward (as one would hope/expect/cherish), is going very well as of late. We had our best Vis practice yet tonight, and my (real!) int'l arbitration job is panning out quite alright. It's a bit unnerving to think that out of potentially <5 millions euros at stake, some tiny portion of that is riding on my nearly quarter century old brain and horn-rimmed glasses...

I won't complain though, and can't. I have a job(s) that I like, and successful homebrew at my side. Spring training has officially started, and although I can't go to Ft. Myers this year, I think it's going to be another fun summer. I like the way the team is shaping up. I have the fortuitous good luck of spending time with a girl that I like. I actually fancy her quite a bit. And to top off, I even got my trombone slide to stop sticking and making that annoying crunchy noise last week! I even got a new sack of cheesecloth to clear out the tubing with!

The world is certainly on a string...

Luck and Timing

Folks, as my academic career slowly winds to a close, I've increasingly been made aware that maybe the best quality I've cultivated in my 6 and 1/2 years of higher education is sheer luck. Dumb luck and good timing.

There's really not much more to say. I was lucky to get on this international arbitration team, and dumb enough to think that local attorneys who practice in the field would want to sit down and have lunch with me. As it just may happen, one of those lucky meetings occurred at just the right time, and I might have a new job coming up quick. I say "might," because you never know how one's luck may change...

Funny enough, through yet another set of stupidly fortuitous circumstances, I met a smart, pretty, somewhat arrogant, young woman the other month, and now find myself in what one might consider an almost-adult relationship. It's a very positive development, and that's all I'll say since this is blog is short on personal details and my mom reads it.

If anything, what 2011 has taught me so far, is that there is no risk to being a bit brazen. I attended a brunch with the MN Supreme Court last week, and one of the justices advised us that the worst phrases we could teach ourselves were "I can't" and "I won't." For the longest time, I told myself I would never do anything with tax law, because I hated it. After that brunch, I decided I could probably do tax if asked, if the timing was right.

It's been a long road so far, and I've worked real hard. Whenever I get together with old friends, we always remind ourselves that even though we did a lot of dumb things 1% of the time, we worked hard the other 99%. I don't think it diminishes that tradition to think about luck and timing, because it's that grunt work that puts you in the position to take advantage of fortuitous circumstances.

Anyways, this was a far too serious post. I'll also probably get in trouble for certain disclosures (ahem). That's okay though. Get ready folks, I have a plethora of Albums of the Week to unleash in the coming month - so get ready! And even, I daresay, prepare for new content on the MN Brew Blog!

Arguments

Well hello internet, apologies once again for the shameless lack of content. I fear this may be something you may need to get used to though, as rudely enough, school, arbitration, friends, etc. seem to constantly get in the way. It really is quite impolite, when you sit and think about it. In an ideal world, all I would do is sit on some type of throne and e-pontificate about all the injustices I suffer, all the wisdom I could impart, all the things I deem important, etc.

That would get real boring, real quick. Maybe it's a good thing I get distracted...

In any event, for those frequent readers who were undoubtedly waiting with bated breath for my reaction to the Timberwolves (Timberwolves?!) game I went to, I'm actually surprised to say that it was quite a good time. Sign my T-Wolves confession, slice my hand in blood, do whatever it is you need to do, I'll freely admit it - I had fun at a Timberwolves game. Unlike the last time, they did not lose by 50 points, they only lost by 1. I appreciated that.

Anyways, on to current events. Some of you might be following my continuing adventures in international commercial arbitration, either by (a) desire, or more likely (b) force. I think this is understandable though, the UNCITRAL Model Law only remains so exciting to so many people for so long. But I'm pretty much required to stay interested in it, and in fact am still interested in it, which is a very good thing.

One would imagine that after being held captive for a total of two weeks in a series of small glass rooms editing memorandums, the brunt of the pain would be over. That, however, is not the case. I was gifted with being a writer - I was not, however, not intrinsically gifted with the ability to persuade. Well, that's a misnomer. I was maybe not given a silver tongue, perhaps that's more accurate.

I think the inherent difficulty in argument, as someone who finds himself in many, is framing it in such a way that you are both easy to understand and convincing. In order to convince people, one merely must have knowledge and mastery of facts - that's not the difficult part. To frame something, or to organize it in a coherent way, now that is a task. As my admittedly (and proudly) liberal views tend to conflict with those of my more conservative counterparts, this is always the issue I face. It's the same issue I'll face in Hong Kong.

Moral of the story, this shit is hard, and there's a lot of work to be done. It's going to get done though, and come April, some folks will be impressed. Not least of whom being myself.

Winning

Well folks, in my super-secret government job, I had my first legal win today. A brief that I wrote, nay, crafted in its entirety, prevailed over the Defendant in court. Granted, it was pretty much a slam dunk argument, but that's besides the point.

The attorney I was working with was going to let me go on the record and give the oral argument in support of the State's motion, if the judge wanted it. However, since my legal arguments were so brilliant, that turned out to be unnecessary. But, just to be prepared, yesterday I went out and purchased a powerful red tie, in order to intimidate and subdue my adversary. Obviously, it worked.

Plus, the judge's law clerk came up to me and told me how well written she thought the State's brief was. So, score one for the evil government on that one, and I'm set up quite nicely to get taken down a few notches next time around.

You know, I like to think that I'm not a competitive person. I like to think that my super-chill demeanor usually extends to being above the pettiness of silly disputes...

But, that would be a lie. I can't tell you how pissed off I got playing Risk on family game night in college. I was playing with friends, but I genuinely think I was ready to turn to physical violence. Especially after some backstabbing "roommate" broke our alliance and invaded North America. Don't think I don't remember that.

In any event, my office-mate/coworker and I were having this discussion today, what we thought made a good trial attorney. We both agreed that being a super-competitive, nasty, killer bitch/asshole was not a good strategy. So, in effect, we both agreed you didn't have to be a TV lawyer to be effective.

But, at work and in my upcoming fake litigation practice trial, it's apparent that having a competitive streak is a good thing. In the fake case I have for my fake trial, I'm representing the plaintiff in a Title VII sex discrimination suit. And in all reality, the likelihood of us winning is very, very slim. It's a flawed case, and not enough good facts to prove the things we need to prove. But I'm definitely convincing myself that I can overcome that and win this case, as slim as that may be.

We had a fake motion hearing on Monday, and I made motions to admit certain evidence against the Defendant at trial. And, there is really no way this evidence would ever come in. But I convinced myself I could get it in, and I argued as well as I could to do so. When it inevitably was denied, I left the law school feeling quite distressed. Well, that's a misnomer. I was pretty pissed off.

I don't think I have any anger management issues, but if nothing else, the past few years have taught me that as much as I don't like to admit it, losing sucks. I'd rather not lose. Don't like losing when it comes to law school, don't like losing when it comes to relationships, don't like losing when it comes to Risk.

And especially, above nearly everything else, I don't like losing to the Yankees.

Destination: Hong Kong. Object: World Domination

Come the end of April, this is where you can find me. World arbitrators - you are hereby put on notice.

Team Hamline/Viper/Awesome, away!

Not Blogging

Folks, I started a new job today. A new legal job. That's right, for the first time ever, I'm being effectively paid to do the sorts of things that people in law school expect to be effectively paid for. It was an illuminating experience. Definitely need to stake a claim on my shared desk with a Michael Cuddyer bobblehead.

Unfortunately, literally per the terms of my employment, I'm prohibited from doing any "blogging" about my job. I wish I could say it's because I'm a BFD, but I think it's moreso just the nature of public employment. Which is a shame, because I foresee my particular division as being incredibly ripe for blogging adventure. But, nary a word shall you see. . . I don't want to get fired.

Anyways, yeah, it should be a good time.

Speaking of the opposite of good times... oh Twins. I read somewhere that you really have to man up in order to be a baseball fan, because there are 162+ opportunities for utter devastation and heartbreak. Given the travesty that unfolded before my eyes the past weekend, I'm pretty sure I subscribe to that.

Oh yeah, and should anyone have any procedural questions about an arbitral tribunal's authority to issue ex parte interim relief, feel free to shoot me an email.

Kompetenz-Kompetenz

Folks, I'm not usually one for self-promotion. But let's not classify this as self-promotion; instead, I suppose it's more like sharing news. But barring financial catastrophe, I'm going to be headed to either Hong Kong or Vienna next April, to help represent Hamline Law at the Willem C. Vis International Commercial Arbitration moot court competition!

I attribute my successful audition/resume/cover letter almost solely to my yellow and blue striped arbitration tie, clearly visible in the above photo. So, thank you tie.

In all reality, this will probably make life a living hell for a good chunk of the school year, as it will take up an absurd amount of time and effort. However, I think it has been plenty established that law students are by definition, sado-masochists, so I suppose that helps make sense of it.

In any event, ICA, watch out. You are about to be owned.

Album of the Week/Criminal Procedure Review: Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix

I don't have time to review anything right now, I'm too busy fu¢@ing around with Terry seizures and the plentiful ways police can search your automobile. So, I'm just asking you folks to trust, based on my training and experience, that there is a reasonable likelihood this album is in fact, spectacular.

If I could, I'd Terry seize everyone and make them listen to "Wolfgang Amadeus Phoneix," but that would probably quantitatively and qualitatively interfere with your liberty interest such that it would exceed the scope of a Terry stop. Plus, I don't know if a failure to listen to this album constitutes sufficient "reasonable suspicion" that you are engaged in criminal activity or are otherwise armed and dangerous. Although, it is a totality of the circumstances test, so you never quite know.

However, assuming that I do have authority to seize you, it seems that just listening to the opening track (Lisztomania) would be permissible, since I'm diligently pursuing a means of investigation likely to quickly confirm or dispel my suspicions, such that it is necessary to detain you. My suspicion is that you haven't listened to Phoenix, which is fantastic French rock band, with hints of 80's synth, so it seems quite reasonable to assume that listening to one track wouldn't exceed the permissible scope of a Terry stop. The dangerously catchy beats, slightly foreign vocal stylings, and generally pleasing tone of this one track should be sufficient to confirm/dispel my suspicions. It doesn't matter that "Lasso" is only '2:48, while "Lisztomania" is '4:02, since it's not whether I failed to use a less intrusive alternative, but whether I acted unreasonably in doing so. "Lisztomania" is a bit catchier, so it's doubtful a court would find I acted unreasonably.

Let's assume I have probable cause to arrest you, based upon the crime of not listening to Phoenix, and the hazy, mind-melting crescendo of guitars and electronica on "Love Like A Sunset Part I." We'll just pretend you're in your car at the time of the offense. Boom, automatically, I can search the passenger compartment of your car for evidence relating to the offence of arrest. So, obviously, I'd be looking to see what worthless cd's (or other media) are lying about your glove compartment (within the lunging area, so plenty alright). Also, any containers where evidence of your illegal listening activities could be contained, are also subject to search - for example, your purse, backpack, etc. Probably not your wallet, because you can't stick an album in there. But since I can search your person incident to your arrest, and any containers or articles within your possession, in all likelihood, I'll be searching your wallet too. Actually, wait, you can fit a flash drive in your wallet, which could contain illicit mp3 files, so that'd probably be alright either way.

Okay, so now you're in the back of the cop car. Clearly, you're in custody, since you're being taken down to the stationhouse for booking (and rightfully so, this is a fantastic album, and in fact won the Grammy for best alternative album, whatever that's worth). Let's just pretend I clear my throat, and say in a loud voice to my partner "I really wish I knew where this poor sap tossed the 'Lady Gaga' album prior to arrest. After all, some kindergartner could find that, accidentally play it, and be emotionally and aurally damaged for the rest of their life." Overcome by guilt, you blurt out the location of the offending item. Is it going to be admissible in your upcoming trial for failure to listen to Phoenix? Good question.

You didn't get any Miranda warnings, and you were in custody. The question is, were you interrogated, and by that I mean, did I ask you an express question or its functional equivalent? Well, probably not. It wasn't directed towards you, and it's probably unlikely that I reasonably thought my statement would have been likely to elicit an incriminating response from you. Of course, during this whole conversation, we're going to be listening to the pseudo-apocalyptic "Armistice." Although, it's probably unlikely you're going to be signing an armistice, but rather a plea bargain. After all, the penalties for not listening to "Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix" are probably pretty harsh, and it's in your best interest to just plea, cooperate with the government, and hope that you just get the mandatory minimum, not the sentencing guidelines enhancement.

Moral of the story? Go out and pick up this album, because if you don't, you'll be arrested. It is, ah, dangerously excellent.

Justice

Well folks, there is justice in the world. It just turns out you have to go to Maplewood and talk with Pete to get it.

Yes, in what I suppose is my first adversarial experience with the City of St. Paul, I traveled to the Ramsey County District Court to contest a parking ticket. After much table pounding, rhetorical flourish, and exclamations of "Justice Demands!," I now stand before you an unblemished man, wholly innocent under the eyes of the law. I feel as if my whole life is now ahead of me.