Old News, Bad News, Great Idea

Multicultural crayons. I knew something was seriously lacking from my childhood.

BTW, going back to the last post, apparently BP is attempting to plug the Deepwater Horizon well via a procedure called "top kill," whereby they pump high density drilling liquid into the well, in the hope that it will stem the tide of oil. Maybe I'm just a little paranoid, but does anyone find it disconcerting that this is called "top kill," rather than say, "pump some mud into the well?" It just seems kinda cavalier - I have these images of these BP engineers thinking they're in a Michael Bay film.

BP - Broader Ponderings

Hi folks. I ended my tenure as an unpaid slave of the Federal Government today, working as I was with the United States Attorney. I'm happy to say I have a very nice coffee mug to commemorate my time, and a somewhat cheesy "certificate of appreciation." Who says the feds can't do swag?

Anyways, I've been thinking lately about this whole BP fiasco off in the Gulf of Mexico. Apparently, everyone is quite consternated as of late. The government is consternated that BP can't get its shit together, and take care of its own mess. BP is consternated that the government is making threats it apparently can't back up - for instance, that it will take control of the well plugging. And the public, in general, is pissed off at both.

As far as I'm concerned, the whole thing is just kind of a shitshow. A disaster of unprecedented proportion - more than likely worse than Exxon Valdez - in an underwater environment that no one really knows how to operate in. The federal government can't do too much except hope that BP can plug the well, since the government lacks the expertise to do it itself. And as seems to be the case, maybe BP, the creator of this destruction, doesn't quite know how to fix it either.

Check out these photos from the Boston Globe. They're incredible.

Anyways, a good friend of mine made a very prescient observation the other day, and I'm inclined to share it here. It's quite easy to get angry at BP, or at the government, or at both. More difficult, is to examine why we are having this problem in the first place. Meaning, why is it that we're drilling for oil in the Gulf of Mexico in the first place? Of course, there's a simple, yet disconcerting answer to that question - addiction.

We're all subject to it, of course, no one is really completely innocent - unless you're one of those folks that lives completely off the grid in Vermont somewhere. I'd venture to say those folks make up a minority of the US populace though. The cruel, simple fact, is that we keep drilling for oil in these completely unsuitable conditions, so that we can feed our addiction. I think this a difficult thing to digest, because we, as Americans; we don't like to look inwards for blame. We just seem to be a people who will do almost anything to avoid accepting responsibility.

Maybe I'm a bit cynical here, or maybe I possess an antiquated sense of moral justice, but it seems to me that in this spirit, people are also unwilling to undergo the hardship to fully experience things. Maybe it's only in baseball that self-sacrifice is still a worthy virtue. Not to mean that one should always be sacrificing oneself, but it makes zero sense to me that people are so concerned for their own convenience, their own self interest, as to go out of their way to confront themselves.

This is a bit confusing conceptually, though it makes perfect sense as I type it. Of course, this is just how confusing things work. The mark of a good writer, is to make the complex simple, whilst retaining the illusion of complexity. I'm still working on that quality, obviously.

Needless to say, back to the oil, we're drilling because we're addicted. The rig exploded because we're drilling. Sure, there was an intervening cause, but if we want to get a fuller view of the causation at issue here, we need to look at ourselves. Our unwillingness to make the sacrifices - financial, cultural, political, ideological - to fix the mess we've found ourselves in.

Anyways, that's what I think about that.

Happy Birthday Bob Dylan

To the pride of Hibbing, Minnesota, a very happy 69th birthday!

I know it's not Christmas, but this video truly has to be seen to be believed. Thanks Bob.

Books, books, books for pleasure?

Hello folks. You are now reading the blog of a man who has completed two years of law school. Truth be told, I haven't thought about it so much. It's just an incredible relief to not have to read about the limitation of liability act anymore. But since we're on the subject, and I am a maritime expert; no, I don't think the Deepwater Horizon will succeed.

In my semi-annual celebration of intellectual freedom, I bought a new book to read - for pleasure! That's right, as riveting as it is, Ian Macneil's relational theory of contracts just doesn't quite do it out in the sun. Instead, I'm reading Stephen Clarke's "A Year in the Merde." As some of you francophiles may know, "merde" is the beautiful tongue's word for "shit."



Needless to say, I've found it quite funny so far; in it's pseudo-true tale of an Englishman living in Paris amongst... sacre bleu! ... the French! But then again, I'm a fan of travel writing, especially hilarious travel writing about Europe. I think it's because I can relate to some of it. I've had a few of my own French foibles in particular. Still can't quite forget the amazing "American West" exhibit at the Metz Zoo.

What's the point of all this? There is no point. I've been spending my days as a gentlemen of leisure as of late, and I must admit, I fancy it quite a bit. In true British fashion, I tried my hand at making Pimm's the other day. Truth be told, it turned out pretty solid, though I think I need different lemonade, and cut up the orange slices a bit more daintily. Also need more morning jackets, women in big, silly hats, and drunken chavs brawling in the streets. Dammit, you just can't seem to find what you're looking for.

Tomorrow, I think I'm going to get up, and go on a biking sojourn. I have a couple things to think about, and nothing will help clear things up than a ride in the country. There's country around here, right? Farmington - I should hope so.

Friday Night Music Videos

Keeping with my tradition of being approximately 2-5 years behind prevailing pop culture trends and new music, here are some songs that have been catching my ear this week. Makes me want to watch Garden State again. Seemingly, the despair of two weeks of finals will correspondingly affect your music choices...

Death and Taxes

Because there's nothing better than spending 48 hours poring through the Internal Revenue Code. Foolish me, I've been trying to think up books to read this summer, but I have this delightful collated copy of Title 26 right in front of me. Maybe I'll just bring it to the beach!

Album of the Week/Criminal Procedure Review: Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix

I don't have time to review anything right now, I'm too busy fu¢@ing around with Terry seizures and the plentiful ways police can search your automobile. So, I'm just asking you folks to trust, based on my training and experience, that there is a reasonable likelihood this album is in fact, spectacular.

If I could, I'd Terry seize everyone and make them listen to "Wolfgang Amadeus Phoneix," but that would probably quantitatively and qualitatively interfere with your liberty interest such that it would exceed the scope of a Terry stop. Plus, I don't know if a failure to listen to this album constitutes sufficient "reasonable suspicion" that you are engaged in criminal activity or are otherwise armed and dangerous. Although, it is a totality of the circumstances test, so you never quite know.

However, assuming that I do have authority to seize you, it seems that just listening to the opening track (Lisztomania) would be permissible, since I'm diligently pursuing a means of investigation likely to quickly confirm or dispel my suspicions, such that it is necessary to detain you. My suspicion is that you haven't listened to Phoenix, which is fantastic French rock band, with hints of 80's synth, so it seems quite reasonable to assume that listening to one track wouldn't exceed the permissible scope of a Terry stop. The dangerously catchy beats, slightly foreign vocal stylings, and generally pleasing tone of this one track should be sufficient to confirm/dispel my suspicions. It doesn't matter that "Lasso" is only '2:48, while "Lisztomania" is '4:02, since it's not whether I failed to use a less intrusive alternative, but whether I acted unreasonably in doing so. "Lisztomania" is a bit catchier, so it's doubtful a court would find I acted unreasonably.

Let's assume I have probable cause to arrest you, based upon the crime of not listening to Phoenix, and the hazy, mind-melting crescendo of guitars and electronica on "Love Like A Sunset Part I." We'll just pretend you're in your car at the time of the offense. Boom, automatically, I can search the passenger compartment of your car for evidence relating to the offence of arrest. So, obviously, I'd be looking to see what worthless cd's (or other media) are lying about your glove compartment (within the lunging area, so plenty alright). Also, any containers where evidence of your illegal listening activities could be contained, are also subject to search - for example, your purse, backpack, etc. Probably not your wallet, because you can't stick an album in there. But since I can search your person incident to your arrest, and any containers or articles within your possession, in all likelihood, I'll be searching your wallet too. Actually, wait, you can fit a flash drive in your wallet, which could contain illicit mp3 files, so that'd probably be alright either way.

Okay, so now you're in the back of the cop car. Clearly, you're in custody, since you're being taken down to the stationhouse for booking (and rightfully so, this is a fantastic album, and in fact won the Grammy for best alternative album, whatever that's worth). Let's just pretend I clear my throat, and say in a loud voice to my partner "I really wish I knew where this poor sap tossed the 'Lady Gaga' album prior to arrest. After all, some kindergartner could find that, accidentally play it, and be emotionally and aurally damaged for the rest of their life." Overcome by guilt, you blurt out the location of the offending item. Is it going to be admissible in your upcoming trial for failure to listen to Phoenix? Good question.

You didn't get any Miranda warnings, and you were in custody. The question is, were you interrogated, and by that I mean, did I ask you an express question or its functional equivalent? Well, probably not. It wasn't directed towards you, and it's probably unlikely that I reasonably thought my statement would have been likely to elicit an incriminating response from you. Of course, during this whole conversation, we're going to be listening to the pseudo-apocalyptic "Armistice." Although, it's probably unlikely you're going to be signing an armistice, but rather a plea bargain. After all, the penalties for not listening to "Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix" are probably pretty harsh, and it's in your best interest to just plea, cooperate with the government, and hope that you just get the mandatory minimum, not the sentencing guidelines enhancement.

Moral of the story? Go out and pick up this album, because if you don't, you'll be arrested. It is, ah, dangerously excellent.