I don't have time to review anything right now, I'm too busy fu¢@ing around with Terry seizures and the plentiful ways police can search your automobile. So, I'm just asking you folks to trust, based on my training and experience, that there is a reasonable likelihood this album is in fact, spectacular.
If I could, I'd Terry seize everyone and make them listen to "Wolfgang Amadeus Phoneix," but that would probably quantitatively and qualitatively interfere with your liberty interest such that it would exceed the scope of a Terry stop. Plus, I don't know if a failure to listen to this album constitutes sufficient "reasonable suspicion" that you are engaged in criminal activity or are otherwise armed and dangerous. Although, it is a totality of the circumstances test, so you never quite know.
However, assuming that I do have authority to seize you, it seems that just listening to the opening track (Lisztomania) would be permissible, since I'm diligently pursuing a means of investigation likely to quickly confirm or dispel my suspicions, such that it is necessary to detain you. My suspicion is that you haven't listened to Phoenix, which is fantastic French rock band, with hints of 80's synth, so it seems quite reasonable to assume that listening to one track wouldn't exceed the permissible scope of a Terry stop. The dangerously catchy beats, slightly foreign vocal stylings, and generally pleasing tone of this one track should be sufficient to confirm/dispel my suspicions. It doesn't matter that "Lasso" is only '2:48, while "Lisztomania" is '4:02, since it's not whether I failed to use a less intrusive alternative, but whether I acted unreasonably in doing so. "Lisztomania" is a bit catchier, so it's doubtful a court would find I acted unreasonably.
Let's assume I have probable cause to arrest you, based upon the crime of not listening to Phoenix, and the hazy, mind-melting crescendo of guitars and electronica on "Love Like A Sunset Part I." We'll just pretend you're in your car at the time of the offense. Boom, automatically, I can search the passenger compartment of your car for evidence relating to the offence of arrest. So, obviously, I'd be looking to see what worthless cd's (or other media) are lying about your glove compartment (within the lunging area, so plenty alright). Also, any containers where evidence of your illegal listening activities could be contained, are also subject to search - for example, your purse, backpack, etc. Probably not your wallet, because you can't stick an album in there. But since I can search your person incident to your arrest, and any containers or articles within your possession, in all likelihood, I'll be searching your wallet too. Actually, wait, you can fit a flash drive in your wallet, which could contain illicit mp3 files, so that'd probably be alright either way.
Okay, so now you're in the back of the cop car. Clearly, you're in custody, since you're being taken down to the stationhouse for booking (and rightfully so, this is a fantastic album, and in fact won the Grammy for best alternative album, whatever that's worth). Let's just pretend I clear my throat, and say in a loud voice to my partner "I really wish I knew where this poor sap tossed the 'Lady Gaga' album prior to arrest. After all, some kindergartner could find that, accidentally play it, and be emotionally and aurally damaged for the rest of their life." Overcome by guilt, you blurt out the location of the offending item. Is it going to be admissible in your upcoming trial for failure to listen to Phoenix? Good question.
You didn't get any Miranda warnings, and you were in custody. The question is, were you interrogated, and by that I mean, did I ask you an express question or its functional equivalent? Well, probably not. It wasn't directed towards you, and it's probably unlikely that I reasonably thought my statement would have been likely to elicit an incriminating response from you. Of course, during this whole conversation, we're going to be listening to the pseudo-apocalyptic "Armistice." Although, it's probably unlikely you're going to be signing an armistice, but rather a plea bargain. After all, the penalties for not listening to "Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix" are probably pretty harsh, and it's in your best interest to just plea, cooperate with the government, and hope that you just get the mandatory minimum, not the sentencing guidelines enhancement.
Moral of the story? Go out and pick up this album, because if you don't, you'll be arrested. It is, ah, dangerously excellent.
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