Reminiscent

I'm doing something I quite rarely do right now. Two and a half years ago, when I lived in England, a video was made of some of our shared experiences; the Nine of us. I've seldom watched the DVD, fearing so much the weighty memories it brings back. But tonight, for some reason, I felt like watching it. And I am watching it, right now. We're in the Lake District right now.

It's kind of strange, I suppose, to see pictures of myself from that period. Philosophically, emotionally, mentally, physically, I was still in very much a formative period at that point of my life. In fact, I think, that experience was maybe the formative period in my life. It was assuredly the most immersive. It's funny to look at me; I'm clean shaven, I have more hair, I look very different. And I think, you can tell, even from just looking at me, that I was in a different place. That's okay though. One thing still remains - still have the ratty ass Twins hat. And oddly enough, I think I'm mostly still wearing the same clothes. That blue pullover thing positively has to be the best clothing purchase of my life.

Two things, actually three, stick out to me most of all. First of all, it reminds me how intensely bonded the nine of us were, for that one year. If I remember correctly, it was an incredible attachment, one that I don't know has ever been duplicated quite exactly. Very seldom have I felt friends as close as family. Which makes it even more ironic, to think of the state of relationship that the nine of us currently experience. To put it mildly, it is not quite as intense.

Second, I think I forgot what an incredibly eye-opening experience the whole thing was, being that independent. In retrospect, it's really quite shocking that I didn't get myself killed, or arrested, or otherwise injured making my way through the Continent for months at a time. Seeing the pictures, remembering the little things, it just really brings back how intense the whole experience was. You want to talk about feeling vital; I don't know what exactly is going to duplicate that feeling. I remember stepping off the plane in Grenoble, for the first day of Christmas holiday, and just thinking "oh shit...." But I made it.

Third, it makes me remember what Nottingham (the city) actually felt like when I was there with this group of people. Being back in Notts this summer, I remember feeling extremely comfortable, at ease, but still having this sort of emptiness. Now I can fully realize what that was. That's a lie, I knew what it was at the time, but I didn't have the additional audio/visual stimulus. What a time, what a time.

Favourite Things I Now Remember

1 - Having paella on the beach in Nice, and throwing rocks into the Mediterranean
2 - The leather chairs in the flat living room
3 - My practice facility/flat basement/church hall
4 - Every single meter of the route from the flat to the university
5 - Everything else

There's my nostalgic post about England for the year. I wouldn't say it makes me melancholy; it just makes me remember. And I think, remembering is important.